unconditional-love

Unconditional Love

There is no one else who is as hard on yourself as you are. Like all your brothers and sisters, you suffer from a basic sense of inadequacy and unworthiness. You feel that you have made terrible mistakes which will sooner or later be punished by humans in authority or by some abstract spiritual authority like God, or karmic law.

These unresolved issues of self-worth are the conditions of your embodiment. In other words, you are here to work them out. You selected your parents to exacerbate your guilt so that you could become conscious of it. Thus, blaming them for your problems will not help you remove the conditions you have mutually placed on love. The only way out is through your expanding awareness of your own guilt and fear-based beliefs and patterns of interaction.

Seeking someone special to provide the love your parents weren’t able to provide will not help either. It just raises the temperature in the pressure cooker. Don’t be surprised if the mate you choose is the perfect embodiment of the parent with whom you most need to heal. You cannot but come face to face with your own wounds. Parents, spouses and children are here to help you see your own need for healing, and you are performing the same function in their lives.

Looking for unconditional love in a world of conditions must inevitably fail. Since all your brothers and sisters are acting out of shame-based patterns, they cannot offer you the love you know that you deserve, nor can you offer it to them. The best that you can do is raise each other’s awareness of the love that is necessary and begin taking responsibility for giving it to yourself.

If you do not take responsibility for bringing love to your own wounds, you will not move out of the vicious cycle of attack/defense, guilt and blame. Your feelings of rage, hurt and betrayal, all of which seem justified, will just fuel the fire of interpersonal conflict and continue to reinforce your unconscious belief that you are unlovable and incapable of loving.

You must learn to see the extent of your own self-hatred. Until you look in the mirror and see your own beliefs reflected there, you will be using every brother or sister in your experience as a mirror to show you what you believe about yourself. While there is nothing wrong with this practice, it is not the shortest or the easiest way home, since there is always the tendency to think that what you see is somebody else’s lesson.

Posted on http://www.thegodlight.co.uk/unconditional-love-paul-ferrini/